The Open Door to Heaven
The doors of heaven are always open. No key, combination, or password is required. You may enter at any time—now in the present, but definitely when you depart your physical body. Why wait? The experience of that which you call heaven is available to you at all times and accessible through your breath, especially when you lose thought.
Those in a deep coma are experiencing it if they choose, but even then, the conscious mind has the ability to prevent this by fogging the entry with thoughts of clutter—of possibilities or probabilities. Those types of thoughts are what prevent anyone from living in the now or the moment and enjoying the very life that you are so afraid of leaving. Live life while you’re here. Enjoy the trappings of the physical, or free yourself from those trappings and enjoy the lightness.
Some feel their burdens are too heavy, but when they’re relieved from you, you may desire to gain more—to saddle back up. The trick, or rather the key, is to be happy with the load you carry now. As you “think” your way to feeling better, the load will self-adjust. When you don’t have to make decisions, you won't feel that anything has been taken from you or that more has been added to you that you did not choose.
Go about and enjoy. Appreciate what you have. It is the exact combination of what you wanted, yet you may not realize it. You will survive, conquer, and overcome, but it won't seem that way. Blessings are often in disguise, appearing as pain or things that didn’t seem wanted, but they cause change, allowing you to move off your very established mark.
Taking the first step is the one that requires the most effort. Momentum will carry you the rest of the way. Expel the fog of the unknown with your physical breath. All is there for you in the here and now; enjoy it.